Printing materials myself

the graduate student life has got me into the better place: Trained me with what I needed to speak about my social issues(while it gradually interrupted me from being devoted to the political party), Gave me Great workplace(ISDPR!) to work in larger desk and with great colleagues who are always helping each other, Let me print the materials I needed for any seminars, work papers, and also is a basecamp to prepare going to the other aim.

and for the best of them, My 'Academic interest' could not have been found without ISDPR. almost all of the material I needed were not published/sold in Korea, so by the favor of the altruist scholars of Internet, I could print out what to read. and for now, I need to find the other friends to share the ideas....

Over the Moral

Giving something to others may be socially desirable and can be called moral economy. but in the capitalist economy moral minimize itself as passive reaction to the situation (dispensism(?)) and Giving becomes more than moral, and sometimes it can be the abuse of economic/political power. When it comes to giving something needed, it is exchanging the shame and life what is not moral. What if it is to give something to others what is not necessary for life, but just favorable? then the action is more than, or, over the Moral.

house 8...

You are talented at strategy, research, and investigation. You are able to get to the root of any problem and instinctively feel that this is where the answer lies. You take great pleasure in unraveling mysteries and solving complex problems. You are naturally giving to a partner, both emotionally and materially. You are not easily shocked by taboos.

You are especially curious about what motivates people, as well as all that is mysterious, taboo, secret, and psychological. You are excellent at analyzing people and getting at their motivations, as well as developing strategies. You may have a good mind for finances, medicine, and other subjects that require research and investigation. You speak with authority and others listen, having strong persuasive powers which should be used carefully. You tend to feel that everything we do and experience has a purpose. You have a great, investigative, and penetrating mind and you are excellent at developing strategies, as well as communicating them with others.

Umbrella

These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the war has took its part
When the world has dealt its cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart

Watching Glee

a drama all about losers, which is every one of us, only aims to fight against all the violences and discrimination. It seems a whole new world of ourselves with different gravity.

Things to do

to the end of October:
submit all the documents to NTU
one essay finished for contest

start of november:
one english exam
one presentation

in the middle of November :
one paper to be presented
the other presentation

December:
Paper (Economics)
Paper (A.E)
Presentation (also...)

to January :
end my MA dissertation

Glee

Nowadays I am so into Glee, season 1 and 2. it's almost done with season 2 and I regret watching all the episodes straight away, not keeping them for my sad tomorrows. it is so fun. I love the characters, I love the stories, I love the songs and the musical the most. and it keeps me thinking that I am in the wrong place - maybe this planet.. - but their patience, joy also give me hope that my life is not meaningless at all.

I was born this way!!

to urge people to wash their hands

Sometimes I feel like i am in 1914, that almost everybody is not cleaning themselves much like these days. I urge people to wash hands before eating, because it is very important not for me but for themselves, and some agrees with me. but most of the people are still okay, they don't think it is problem, and no one change their hand wash habits. still there is no public wash of course. They say that I am too sensitive, but somewhere people are still hurting and dying of contamination and infection by dirty hands, but their pain and death are not worth noticed as their life was. it makes me feel so desparate and lonely.
now there is law, there is system, there is consensus. everybody washes their hands, whether she/he is healthy or not hand washing keeps the weak from infected. now there are still bunch of similar problems that people are dying of, but healthys are not aware of. would it be better? like everybody's washing hands? someday they will notice that they were unintendedly agreeing on killing the most loved ones of them. if you don't want to, hear the smallest complains.

‪#‎heforshe‬

Georgina

Today I came across to some pictures of english designer Georgina. she is a little bit oversize but her fashion pics were terrific and she was already a ceo of a mall. But the blogger who posted it says with every other pics that she is fat, and her fashion is not best bet cute, and she needs "self control". I really got upset with her comments showing her uneducatedness. Being fat never needs any other's concern that she would have some illness, because usually ill people get weight lost and thins also can have some kind of illness(like loss of estrogen, etc.). And she looked down her fashion for her body size, that is very discriminating view and needs "controlled" if she works in fashion department even more. the pictures was nice but the perspective was terrible. We should be careful for what we see and read from others than what ourselves seen to be.

Shame

I think some pple are going to work harder, ashamed at their inactiveness. ^^

You don't need to be offensive inappropriately.

Well, You may want to deny that you are in one ship with who you hates so much that you want to eliminate them, or say that they are in no need. but in the first place, what made you with them? you told that you can give them worthy if they vote you, or they have same desire with you to go to the same goal. but what? they are not enough? their thoughts are bad for progress? or what, you just don't wanna see them while you still benefit from their support?

anything haven't changed from the Koryo or Chosun era. men are always erase the existence of women who works for, pays for their work disguised as 'everyone's goal'. fuck you.

nonsense

As a flawed person, I always think thorough when someone claims of fault while offending me with not related matters, if I am really a bitch. but it is not - who does things should not done is them at the point, which also messes the situation which could be easily solved otherwise. I am so sorry for those 'bitches'' life which can't be legetimized unless claiming others' guilty.

long term work

if you can't get waht you want in speed of instant, don't give it up or be depressed.

it will become the Artwork of two days, or a week, or a month.

Existence

sometimes there are some things which exists before asking why.

The liberal as doorkeepers

Violence and power always comes along with the morals. It never negotiates but forces. To maintain the rules for inequality, the weak are forced to do "their own work" only - following the usual lifecourse, labor at lowest price, saving when interest is low, giving birth to baby, studying, or yielding any rights to more deserved - so that their resposibilities outnumbers rights or freedom. Then they become too busy/too tired to care the bigger things or already forgot. This happens only when the rules can't be persuaded contextually or logically, or the rules were not for those on the first place.

So, there are some-or many- people who chose to be a moralist in this world. Even though their SES(social economic status) is not good enough, keeping the moral of the era makes their meaning of the life. They volunteer as the doorkeeper who never goes in but gets small tips for keeping the less outside. So they say, for (usually, the other's) economic freedom you should be responsible (for all those good things resulting only in negative externality to your own economic status), While their "moral practice" mostly consists of praising the good rich and repeating to the weakests of their responsibilities as they were told.It is called the LIBERALISM. What an irony!

There is nothing special in discriminating.

if you say only the father's enjoyment, it is discriminating by emphasizing men's feeling. If you say the girl is not objectively pretty, you are discriminating people because you are always mentioning the objective standard to be a pretty women worth displayed in your sight, not for men.

If you say "I am just talking" it is discrimination for our ears to hear it other than enjoy the silent if your discriminating, words empowering already having the power was not told.

what is expected to minorities?

Whenever I meet those people who think that I am different from others, or somewhat awkward, They become protective that their beliefs or way of thoughts should be conquered by me. "Do what you wanna do and don't intrude" is ordinary response. They, some ordinary(?) people seems don't want to change. but are they really not changing or moving? no. "Almost all of us will agree ~~" arguments secretly persuades the majority, ordinary people and it changes the thoughts.

The transition always starts with those "typical" things, and who defines the ordinary and typical is the power.

So, there are some issues related with this.
1) ordinary word overused to persuade people(esp. Toward conservative, discriminating the minorities side) has to be detected.

2) ousting the minorities from the agora(public) speech has to be forbidden, because it structurally empowering the speech of the power.

3) why we should be "majority", or is it true? that despite all those differences we are all the same wanting to eat to have sex and say pretty only to "certified-all-those-beauty-standards"? What makes us not to be just ourselves thinking on our own brains?

No beg for your friends

Don' beg your friends unless you share what you are doing and how donation can help you in what kind of ways. not only helping is the duty if friend; but also the sincere communication and openness of yourself is your duty, in many ways, by telling your present status  or by getting alternatives they suggest you. Please don't insult your friends for not understanding you: think what you did to be friends with them other than just gossip or claiming yourself. If they had done any fault, it is only meeting you in twitter.

animals to know what a person thinks

even a fly knows that we are thinking of killing it. Cats and dogs, pigs and cows KNOW IT.

Confidence

Let us just be ourselves when we are dealing with what we can't change in 30 minutes. Don't be ashamed of yourself or what is induced from you, or let others laugh at. This is not any kind of truth or creed; you may be wrong, but a better strategy.

I hate korea.

I hate korean internet users' violent post and replies expressed with or without harmful thoughts. I am getting away from reading articles written in korean. It looks like they ARE the korea, and I am not.

If you can't stand something

Only take benefit of it for you and never contribute on its developing, by considering any advising or even badmouth on it.

new work due again

the last seminar preparing the exam - if I don't pass, I can't get the degree - will be held 10 hours later and I didn't do almost nothing for my presentation. this is a bad habit that I use my spare time in other things - to be present a camp that I managed (which was literally FANTASTIC!), writing a proposal to present in 3 months, eat whatever I want, and keeping close with sweetheart before he departs.

and I went to a workshop of writing and reading English papers (esp. scholar ones), and got stressed to hear awkward intonation for 2 hours. I was very curious what would the foreign students thought hearing it, about more than 1/5 of the participants. I might be there today and day after tomorrow too.

so I am short of time to prepare the exam, while there're some small things to do otherwise, which is the most distracting my concentration. some of those are my work and others are not, but bothering if not done right and tight.

that I am a kind of person who is sensitive more than I thought before, is what I am thinking about nowadays. I have been always fought against the matters while there can be other means to deal with them, in more peaceful ways for me and for others. will knowing it and admitting it ease my nerve in any extent? just after the fantastic camp that I got to love every comers I got nervous with 2 different people I met outside. please God, may there be peace, at least inside.

I won a lottery!!

this is not much of its monetary value but the scarcity made premium. I can't belive this sudden fortune, but will enjoy.

when your eyes aim too high

then you must climb up,
till you fall or conquer.
your ground state is here whether you stay or fall.

what can blind me?

those holes of every illusio of every fields interrupts me from being involved somewhat deeper than usual. is it true to all the sociologists? or is it only for I am too skeptical? I know that the better strategy is to get in despite all those pains and irrationalities, but...

what i ate today

1 ramen
1 small milfolliu
1 triangular kimbab
1 grain flour with soya milk
1/2 salad with fried tofu
2 banana
1/2 large popeyes' french fries


ate a lot.

Bourdieu

I prepared to present my peers of Pierre Bourdieu's <Field of Cultural Production>, for we have exam including it in the end of August. it was so difficult to read, translate, and explain it.. that I barely slept today.

"Hermeticism, in this case, perfectly fulfils its function: to utter 'in public' the true nature of the field, and of its mechanisms, is sacrilege par excellence, the unforgivable sin which all the censorships constituting the field seek to repress. these are things that can only be said in such a way that they are not said."

Being an interviewee

just finished the 3rd interview, as an interviewee for my friend's qualitative research in her Ph.D thesis. I usually meet her, and eat something together and talk about me with her for 2~3 hours. I dont' think we are that much 'friends' but talking about myself and incidents around me soothes me by getting the words out of me.

What if you study only 9 subjects?

the probability that you can write all the 6 answers when you studied only 9 subjects is, (9C6*3C2+9C7*3+9C8)/12C8=41/55. You can write 5 answers for certain, and the possibility for u to pass the exam is still very high enough.

how to answer every 6 out of 8 questions on exam

Suppose there is an exam that you can pass if you answer only 6 out of 8 questions correctly. Each question is from one of 12 subjects in total.

what if you don't have much time to study, so you need to minimize your work? Studying your favorite six only? Or top 8 for insurance?

Unfortunately, the only possible way to have your 6 answers fully is to study more than 10 subjects. Too obvious? Sorry.

what does it mean to zoom in someone's face?

As the camera lens technology has been developed, people on TV are taken by cameras installed far away from them(20~30m?) while we can see his/her hairholes of face on screen.

zoomed-out picture with closer shoot and short lens shows us 'center-empathized' pic, and zoomed-in picture with farther shoot and longer lens ('Missile Camera') makes background-empathized pic but with larged image. our usual face with those lens seems bigger and fattened, and that is how the images of TV stars we usually see is made. if you see TV stars in real-life, you will be very astonished that their face is very, very smaller than you think.

with those cameras, we can distort our own visual perception of the world, or celebrity world through cameras and TVs. TV stars shine while their reality starve. what we see and what we really are is far different than it was when we were young.


(this song is not related to this post. or yes?)

to know what is enough

one day my colleague asked me what I eat on 'Jungbok', which is the day when many koreans eat chicken or dogs or anything dead animal for their healthy summer. I was on a low-carb diet that day so I said "I think the best thing is not to eat. even it's only for now, I feel very great with empty stomach and it sets me free."

That's true. we need as much energy as we eat, for metabolism. I came across to think that it is related to the thoughts that we are imperfect or deprived of something, in usual life. it's like that - we can't keep our health without eating meat, or can't keep relationship without disguising ourselves. yes, we can't live without eating and lying, but I think enough is enough. you can live on without those 'much' thing. almost of us are not perfect, but not so imperfect that much.

and no one told me that I will die if I don't eat some amount of meat or eggs( everyone will die someday though,) but everyone is worrying me with my vegeterian or low-carb diet. I appreciate their care about me but you can see, I am living well now, isn't it?

my desk

warmly welcomed, always.
Today this institute where my desk is very noisy to meet the project deadline.

my keywords

here is some of my keywords that i am into:

Economy(not economics), sociology, Institutions, System, Online trade, Giving away, economic anthropology, human development, mathematics and data visualizations for sociology

and these are other keywords that matters me with my life:

Incheon, the Greens(political party), International Jobs/internship for M.A. graduate, Vegan recipe, GB, Taiwan, INFINITE(the idol group).

I am serious. ;)

new blog!

with my old blog(written in my mothertoungue language) i have always felt stiffness, for all those meaningless words, which matters only when you're gonna write the same one again over them.

I made this blog to write my sociology or society related thoughts in english, and to become one blogger who is away from those of her homeland's. Let me have my own shelter from those narrowness and totalism.

Whatever, i welcome all of you unfortunately came across to my site. I wish we can make good friends.